Talking to Your Friends About Book Censorship: Why It Matters and How to Do It

You’re at a dinner party, scrolling through the news together, or watching your kids play at the park and someone brings up “that one book” being pulled from school libraries. Maybe they say it’s inappropriate. Maybe they cheer the removal. Or maybe they just shrug and ask, “What’s the big deal?”

Book censorship is a growing issue that touches education, freedom of speech, democracy, and the wellbeing of our kids. But it can be hard to talk about, especially with friends who don’t share your perspective. Maybe they haven’t seen the bigger picture, or maybe they’ve been influenced by misleading headlines or political rhetoric.

The good news? You don’t need to be an expert to have these conversations. You just need to be informed, calm, and ready to listen. This guide will help you talk to your friends about book censorship, why it matters, how to respond to common concerns, and how to keep the conversation respectful and productive.

Why It Matters

Book bans don’t just affect libraries; they affect students’ ability to learn, grow, and think critically. At the heart of this issue is access to information, diversity of thought, and intellectual freedom. Here’s why that matters:

• Censorship is spreading. Book challenges are at an all-time high. PEN America documented more than 4,000 titles challenged in 2023-2024 alone, many in coordinated campaigns aimed at books with LGBTQ+ themes, discussions of racism, or mental health topics.
  
  
• Censorship silences voices. The books being targeted often reflect marginalized experiences. When these stories are erased, so are the identities of the kids who see themselves in them.
• Censorship in the library is a slippery slope. When a school or public library agrees to break with its policy over one particular objection, it undermines that policy going forward and sends a terrible message to those responsible for making decisions over what information is accessible going forward. To avoid self and soft censorship, professionals must feel supported in their decision-making. Pulling books from a school library without following process can quickly lead to censoring in future purchases, supplemental materials, assignments, and even the discussions educators feel comfortable leading in the classroom.
  
  
• Censorship threatens democracy. Open access to information is a cornerstone of a free society. When books are banned based on ideology, we’re teaching the next generation that some ideas, and people, are not worth listening to.
  
  
• Censorship doesn’t reflect the majority. The majority of book bans are driven by small but vocal groups. Polls consistently show that most parents support access to diverse books in schools.

Conversation Tips: How to Talk About Book Censorship

1. Start with Shared Values

Begin from a place of connection. You and your friends probably agree on more than you think.

Try saying:

“I think we both want kids to grow into thoughtful, informed adults. That’s why I care so much about what’s happening with book bans right now.”

This helps keep the conversation from feeling confrontational. You’re not “calling them out,” you’re inviting them in.

2. Focus on Freedom, Not Fear

Book censorship often thrives on fear: fear of difficult topics, fear of “inappropriate” content, fear of change. Shift the conversation to freedom instead:

“The great thing about libraries is that no one’s forced to read anything, but the freedom to explore different perspectives should still be there.”

Remind them: protecting access to books is about giving kids and families options, not forcing a particular worldview.

3. Use Real Examples

Abstract arguments can be easy to dismiss. But real stories and real books make it personal.

Mention books that have been banned like Maus, The Hate U Give, All American Boys, Melissa, or And Tango Makes Three and ask if they’ve read them.

Try:

“Did you know I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings was pulled from a high school library? That book was in school libraries when we were in high school!”

Realizing that widely respected books are being banned helps people understand that this issue is about more than just “age appropriateness.”

4. Debunk the “Parental Rights” Argument

You might hear, “Parents should have the right to decide what their kids read.”

And they do. But book bans go further; they take that right away from other families.

Try:

“You have every right to say what your child reads. But when we remove books entirely, we’re deciding for every other family too.”

This can help friends see that censorship isn’t about more choice—it’s about less.

5. Talk About Education, Not Indoctrination

Some people worry that books with LGBTQ+ characters or racial injustice themes are “pushing an agenda.” Remind them that reading about something isn’t the same as being told what to believe.

“Reading books about different lives doesn’t mean agreeing with everything in them. It means learning to understand people who aren’t like you.”

Good books challenge assumptions. That’s not indoctrination, that’s education. Additionally, books that address a particular topic from the opposite position we happen to hold offer us the ability to learn how to better frame our arguments when debating that topic in the future. 

6. Appeal to Empathy

Ask friends to imagine what it’s like to be a student who sees themselves in a banned book.

“Imagine being a kid who’s just come out as gay… and then your school pulls the one book that made you feel seen.”

Appealing to empathy can break through fear or political noise. These are real kids with real feelings, not ideological talking points.

7. Acknowledge the Nuance

Not all concerns are rooted in bad intentions. Some parents may have genuine discomfort with certain content. That’s okay. Acknowledge that discomfort while still making your case.

“I get that some books may feel uncomfortable. But that’s often where the most important growth happens. It’s also probably a topic that is uncomfortable to talk to our own kids about. Reading about the tough lessons a fictional character (that relates to our children) learned by engaging in risky behavior can actually help our children avoid making the same mistakes in real life. And again, no one’s being forced to read these books.”

Respect breeds respect. If your friends feel heard, they’re more likely to listen.

8. Invite Them to Learn More

Offer next steps: articles, reports, videos, or even a trip to the library together.

Some resources to share:

• Freedom to Read Project (www.freedomtoreadproject.org)
  
  
• American Library Association’s Banned Books Week (www.ala.org/bbooks)
  
  
• PEN America’s Resources on School Book Bans (https://pen.org/book-bans/)
  
  

You can say:

“If you’re curious, there’s some great info here. It really opened my eyes.”

What Not to Do

• Don’t shame or lecture. People rarely change their minds when they feel attacked.
• Don’t get bogged down in hypotheticals. Stick to the real-world consequences of censorship.
• Don’t assume bad intentions. Many people simply haven’t heard the full story yet.
• Don’t give up after one conversation. Seeds take time to grow. Keep showing up with calm, facts, and care.

The Bigger Picture: Why These Conversations Matter

Censorship doesn’t start with laws; it starts with silence. With people not asking questions. With assumptions going unchallenged. When we stay quiet, we allow small, coordinated groups to define what’s “appropriate” for everyone else.

By speaking up with your friends, you’re doing something powerful. You’re expanding the conversation, breaking the silence, and reminding others that the right to read belongs to all of us.

And remember, change often starts small: one conversation, one classroom, one library board meeting at a time.

Final Thoughts

Talking to your friends about book censorship isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary. These conversations can help shift perceptions, build allies, and create communities that value freedom of expression.

If you’re looking for a place to start, start small. Share an article. Recommend a banned book. Ask a thoughtful question.

The future of intellectual freedom depends on all of us… and your voice matters.

Want to do more?

Get involved locally by attending school or library board meetings. Reach out to your public librarian. Volunteer to serve on a library advisory board. Stay informed by signing up for the Freedom to Read Project newsletter.

Together, we can defend the right to read and keep our shelves full of the stories that shape who we are.